In order to “numb” myself from any of the problems I was experiencing I would inflict pain on myself, by self injuring myself. By cutting myself, hitting myself or just by abusing alcohol, drugs and even binging and purging.
I knew that doing these things to myself was wrong, but I didn’t know how to address the problems. And self injuring myself felt better than the feelings I was experiencing on the inside. After talking to people, and counsellors I started to learn how to release my negative feelings, and talk about stressful or overwhelming times in my life.
Self Injury is not uncommon. In fact, because this is done often in secret, it is hard to determine exactly how many people are affected.
Self injury provides immediate relief, but only for a short time and can have serious consequences.
What is it?
Self injury, also called self harm, self abuse, and self-mutilation, is intentional actions that cause harm to one’s body, mind and spirit. Examples are cutting the skin with razor blades or other sharp objects; burning or hitting oneself; scratching or picking scabs; hair pulling; and inserting objects into one’s body. Cutting is the most common form of self injury among today’s youth.
Behaviours like smoking, alcohol and drug addiction, bingeing on food and staying in an abusive relationship can also be considered forms of self harming.
People who self injure may not be trying to kill themselves. Usually, they are not trying to end all feeling; they are just trying to feel better, in possibly one of the only ways they know how.
Why do it?
Conscious self injury is ineffective problem-solving. People who self injure are usually seeking help and relief from, depression, anger, psychological pain, or loneliness. Some self harm to feel emotions more intensely; others to punish themselves for being “bad.” They either cannot or have not learned how to express those feelings more effectively.
Self injury usually starts during puberty or adolescence. Usually first appearing between the ages of 14 and 24. However, self-harm can occur at any age, including in the elderly population. Cutting behaviour can spread, and there is a rising trend for teens to talk about cutting on the Internet in face book groups, or chat rooms, and even form cutting clubs at school.
A common belief regarding self-harm is that it is an attention-seeking behaviour; however, in most situations, this is completely not the case. Many self-harmers are very self-conscious of their wounds and scars and feel guilty about their behaviour leading them to go to great lengths to conceal their behaviour from others.
There is no single pattern or profile for self injurers. According to research, most are from a middle to upper-class background, with standard to high intelligence, and low self esteem. Some 40% have a history of eating disorders. Almost half report physical, emotional or sexual abuse during childhood. Almost all say that they were discouraged from expressing emotions, especially anger and sadness.
By physically harming themselves, self injurers often feel relief from the emotions that overwhelm them. They feel pain on the outside, not the inside.
Warning Signs
People who self injure go to great lengths to hide the behaviour. But there are warning signs, such as:
unexplained frequent injuries, such as cuts and burns
wearing long pants and long sleeved shirts in warm weather
low self esteem
problems handling emotions
problems with relationships
What Can I Do?
Getting a deeper understanding of self harm is an important first step to helping yourself or another. There is treatment, but as with all mental and physical conditions, early analysis is key to a successful outcome.
If you are hurting yourself, it is important to begin talking to someone you trust – for instance, a friend, family member, a teacher, school nurse, guidance counsellor. Your doctor may be able to recommend a therapist or psychologist who can help you.
There may be a support group in your area. A great local service, and one I have personally dealt with is, Catholic Family Services of Simcoe County. It is a Catholic-sponsored non-profit charitable organization that offers professional counselling services and education for families and individuals.
If you are concerned about a friend or family member, it’s okay to ask. Just talking about self injury won’t cause someone to begin hurting themselves. It can be shocking to find that someone you care about is deliberately harming themselves. Offer support without judging or criticizing. Try not to blame, or react as though their behaviour is impossible to understand.
Is there treatment?
Treatment by a mental health professional is recommended. A specialist can help find alternatives and guidance toward substituting less harmful acts to express feelings. Behavioural therapy can help to break the habit and maintain change.
Experts advise that early treatment is important. Some teens stop injuring themselves when their behaviour is found out. For others, being surrounded by a caring network of family, friends, teachers, counsellors and doctors reduces their need to cut or otherwise harm themselves. Assessment for depression or anxiety may reveal underlying issues that can be treated.
Where To Go For More Information
For further information, contact a community organization like the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) to find out about support and resources in your community.
