24.4.11

How time has passed...

Shame on me!

I have been an awful blogger! It was been WAY too long since my last post!

A weird string of happenings led me to blog today. I have always said nothing happens by "coincidence" everything happens for a reason.

My mother called me a week or so ago, and let me know a friend of hers lost her son. He had committed suicide. He was 21. I felt guilty about this. I shouldnt have, but at the time I did. My goal was to have this blog accessible to the barrie community, especially those under 30 to educate themselves, and others. To know that there are others out there going through simialr struggles. That there are people there to help. I have not been working my hardest at that goal. I am ready to get back on track! :)

Around the same time, I was approached when I was at the gym from a teacher of my old high school. She had asked how everything was going, and had asked me how I was feeling. That she had read my articles, saw me on tv and heard about my stuggles with depression and anxiety. It has been a while since anyone has asked me about that, and it felt amazing to answer her " I am feeling GREAT!"

Don't get me wrong it has still been a struggle somedays. Its hard on days that I still feel "down" or "blue" I still struggle with my anxiety in overwhelming and stressful situations. But writing and reflecting help alot. Talking to family and friends. Getting those feelings OUT of me. It is amazing what it does for me and helps bring me back to a stronger and positive place.

I also didn't blog for a while because I was going through a very difficult breakup that happened in the summer. I did not mention that in my last couple of posts, and most likley because I was fronting on how "strong" I was at that time.
Not gonna lie, it was extrememly difficult. Especially when I felt I was finally getting myself back on track and healthy from my depression. I was so worried and so was my family that I was going to lose myself again.
But, I continued to talk to family and friends, saw my docotor a couple of times to talk with him as well as a counsellor from Catholic Family Services of Simcoe County, and through that crazy, rollercoster ride stayed  strong and incredibly focused.
As I said everything happens for a reason, and through that difficult time in my life came incredible blessings! I have never felt so strong and healthy. I have learned SO much about myself, strengthened so many important relationships. I am at a very good place in my life.

Communicating with people this whole time has brought me to where I am today. And there is ALWAYS someone to talk to. There were times that I did not want to talk to family or friends and that is where my doctor has helped. Or talking to a Mental Health Counselor. There are some great resources in our community that can help, that are always there to listen. Places like "The Canadian Mental Health Association", "New Path", "The Kids Help Phone". Another place I had visited during some rough times was "Catholic Family Services of Simcoe County". They also have some great counselors ready to help you through any difficult time.

Remember, you are not alone.

Just wanted to share a picture of me with my pup Lexi. She has helped keep me so strong!